to me, my adventure from the past year was simply unforgettable, it was unique, it was genuine, and it deserves it own space.  while I will continue to blog, it will not be here, because I want everything that is here to remain whole.

this will be my last publication in -jet-

i want to thank everyone who has read this blog, the well wishes that I received, and for the time that you spent getting to know me.  this has been a special journey, since 2 september 2009, I have become a different person, and now a year on, I plan to take the lessons I have learned and go in new directions.  this is not a lowering of the sail, but merely a change in course for the changing winds.

i encourage everyone to follow my new space at http://pedestrianme.wordpress.com

Its been a strange transition, more than anything its about picking up where I left off in the context of being a different person than when I left. thats going to be the challenge…and thats going to be what I’m working on for a while

i miss having fresh bread next door, smoke detectors are really annoying given my affinity for leaving things on the stovetop and subsequently starting a kitchen fire, however, this move hasn’t been all bad.  it is very nice to have food delivered to your door at 5am on saturday morning when you are in no condition to cook and NEED FOOD.

i’m so lazy right now and really feel no motivation to write.  i’m just checking in from my new little window on the world.  to the East I can see the World Bank, to the North I have the Spanish Embassy across the street (pure coincidence, but a nice token of remembrance).  i’m on a quiet street right off Pennsylvania Avenue, close enough to all the fun and far enough away to escape the crazies when I want.  I suppose life is pretty good…now I just need to find a way to avert the onset of winter…

GLO-BAL WARM-ING <clap-clap, clapclapclap> =D

smoke detectors

greeting cards

perservatives and salt

obese people

excessive please/thank you/excuse me/sorry

—

those are just some of the things that I notice, they range from ubiquitous to benign to frankly irritating.  i’ve been away on the lake for a few days, but the further I venture from the city the more I realise that I am not cut out for most parts of this country.  its been great to see my family, but its just time for me to be back in my element.  there are so many things that I miss, so many people that I want to see everyday like it was before, but it does no good to let everyone else know about it.  i thought that Spain was a lifestyle that could be taken with me anywhere I go, and it can, but its still not the same.  i wont be greeted by endless sunshine and dry summer heat everywhere I go.  i won’t be able to find the people, the energy, the mood that runs through the streets of spanish cities anywhere else in the word, because its so unique, it what makes Spain a special place.

in four days i’ll be back in Washington DC, so things will improve, but it will never match the warm breeze blowing through my window, the long walks by the river, the train to Cádiz on a sun-soaked weekend…those are the little things that will never be replaced

I haven’t really left the house too much, I went to the grocery store yesterday and was shocked at how much food costs here.  The cars are all bigger, there are personalized license plates on the cars here, something that would never happen in Spain, and from what I can tell, all of the food is super salty and really loaded with preservatives, it takes the bite out of the vegetables and makes everything seem so bland.  The people seem sad, depressed, always very rushed, and for some reason, I feel like I’m looked at as “diiferent.”  I don’t mean to knock on everything that I see, I have to say that this town is much more beautiful than I remember leaving it, but besides the scenery, I’m not sure if there is much more here.

I haven’t seen the sun in two days, the last time being when my airplane sunk below the clouds for the last time, and I entered a world that was without light, a world that continues without light, especially for me.  At least right now, and until I get to Washington, I feel like I was wandering through darkness, and unknown place full of strangers.  Its not that I don’t want to understand it, it is just that there is nothing and no one here for me, save my family that is working all day..lol.  Its also strange because I haven’t seen rain in almost three months, with the exception of a day in Paris and Amsterdam.  I usually wake up to a sunny, warm day.  Now I look forward to damp, cloudy, humid, and chilly even though its August.

I’m slowly going through the motions of being back, but it will be much better once I can be with friends, hopefully it will take my mind off of it.  Right now I can’t say that I am rejecting the United States, but I can say that the torment of emotions ranging from sadness of leaving, to wishing I had done one more thing, to the happiness of seeing old acquaintances and friends to the anger that I left so many behind and the excitement to see what tomorrow will bring is not an easily navigated sea.  Right now, I am just living day by day in the dark, but I know that very soon, the sun will rise again.

Its coming much later, and the person leaving Spain tomorrow is more whole, more fulfilled, and more grateful than I could have ever imagined almost a year ago when took off for the first time, and started a life in an unknown place.  Its hard to sit down and really reflect on a year, to understand the transformation that has taken place, and how to best maximize the experience going forward, and to leverage it to the fullest in moments to come.  Somehow, with enough reflection, I’m sure that it will happen, and I will manage to synthesize the 10,000 thoughts running through my head right now, and produce some sort of coherent conclusion.

I’m currently in Madrid, spending my last nights here before I take off to the United States.  I took a long walk today, camera in tow of course, and I found it hard to think about anything, but I did manage to reflect a little bit on the experience.  Its everything from the cultural adaptability, to the new people you’ve met, to your own personal growth, the things you’ve seen, the experiences you’ve had, everything that you managed to do, and the things that you let slip by.  I can’t say that I have any regrets…none whatsoever.  There have been things I maybe shouldn’t have done (like haul off to Morocco and almost get kidnapped) there have been poor decisions (all those “one last drinks”) but none of it caused harm, all of it  caused a good laugh, and some of the worst moments are the ones that I now remember most fondly.  It just goes to show that everything happens for a reason, everything has a positive consequence, and you should never discount the importance of even the smallest occurance.

Over the past year, there have been highs and lows, smiles and frowns and even some tears.  There has been exhilaration and upset, there has been friendship, some nasty partings, and along the way there were a few special moments I will never forget..its just unfortunate that they had to come so close to the end.  When the plane takes off tomorrow, I know that I am going to be a wrecked flood of emotions, but thats ok.  There have been few things in life that have reached so deep inside of me that they turn me inside out and really give way to thought, and so if Spain can do that to me, it says something to me about what Spain means in my life.

Tomorrow at 11am, I am going to fly out just like I flew in…pensive, a little nervous, unsure of what will come next, and ready to start a new chapter in life.  I’m not saying goodbye, I’m saying hasta luego

todo pasa y todo queda…pero lo nuestro es pasar

nearly 8,000 km over two weeks, in six cities and countless planes, trains, buses, and trams have made for quite an interesting time.  right now, I am sorting through some 1,000 photos, and I will bring the best to my little window on the world as soon as possible.

Image By Flickr User Phualt//Used under Creative Commons License